We carry within us a great ocean. As seen around the globe, various colors shine from the depths. Leading people to be, both entranced and frightened, by just what may lie beneath the surface.
This ocean is who we are, the great big moving picture of our personality. Unfortunately, through time, societal rules, and our own rejection we are as clueless about the ocean’s depths, as we are about our own selves.
Today, I want to address this fact and talk about what we can do about it.
Carl Gustav Jung & Our Shadow:
Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), a Swiss psychiatrist, who founded analytical psychology coined the term “shadow,” as he developed his own understanding of the human experience. From his point of view, a human being’s main task for human development, was to discover their conscious and unconscious selves.
From this foundation, he went on to be a leading founder in the field of psychology (even working with Freud for a time) and his work, ideas, and methods remain relevant today.
Another important component to Carl Jung’s work, was that he was one of the first to combine the mind/body with spiritualism. This combination not only adds another layer of depth to his work but makes it an important component to those of us who live our lives, based upon spiritual principles and ideas.
While his work ranges in topics and is worth delving into, we are going to be focusing on our “shadows.”
Our Shadow:
Each of us, are just like the ocean. While there is much that is seen and known (conscious) there is more that lays beneath the surface, even hidden from ourselves (subconscious). According to Jung, this part of ourselves is hidden in the shadows, forced there for various reasons.
Delving into our shadow selves is a critical component to life, because not only do we achieve a deeper level of healing, of self-knowledge, self-empowerment, and ease within our own bodies, but the personality aspects that we have banished into the shadows find a way to break free. Generally, in manners that not only endanger our minds and even our bodies, but those around us.
For these reasons, we embark on a special kind of healing journey, where we focus on Shadow Work.
What is our Shadow made of?
According to Jung, the evilness and components of life that society shames, are what get tossed into the shadows. I want to note at this time, that due to my own personal philosophy, I don’t hold such a dooms-day outlook on what our shadow is.
For Jung, knowing what he went through personally in his life, in delving into his darkness, and due to the time period in which he was born, I can understand how he viewed humanity as a greater evil, than people generally like to see themselves. That being said, I really appreciate and agree with his observations about people and what we can do to delve into our internal darkness.
How parts of our personality make it into the shadow:
We each have a shadow self. The size and quality of this shadow is determined by who you are and what you have gone through in your life. Our shadow holds…
- The parts of ourselves society rejects.
- The parts that we reject within ourselves.
- The parts that we reject in order to feel accepted and loved by friends and family.
- The parts that we fear.
- The parts that are darker, twisted, or otherwise more barbaric.
The Golden Shadow:
The one part of our shadow I have yet to address is our Golden Shadow. Jung stated that 90% of our shadow is pure gold. The characteristics that make up this part of our shadow, come from deep within our soul. Seen in art, music, and the rebels of the world, these qualities are the potential and style of expression that we each have.
Why we push parts of ourselves into the shadows.
We create this shadow overtime for many different reasons. The first is that as children, what we know- is what we see, are taught, and what we feel inside. But sometimes what we feel inside can be out voiced by the world around us, and we can end of pushing parts of ourselves into the shadows because they are qualities our society deems as bad/evil/shameful/barbaric.
The second reason we can reject parts of who we are, is in order to fit in or be loved. We carry this misguided idea that in order to be loved, there are certain components of who we are that must be hidden. Most often these components are what lead us to stand out, strike our independence, and otherwise fail to meld with the rest of the world completely.
Through the desire for love, we can end up failing to love ourselves completely. Instead of acknowledging that the love not received from others is a sign about who they are, and what they are capable of giving, we reject the gems within us.
We all hold the capacity to be a Picasso, Van Gough, Florence Nightingale, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, or Miguel de Cervantes. Each of these individuals, and so many more, brought their uniqueness to the light and shone in their own way. Bringing something to the world, and for it, they were loved wholly by some, and that was enough, because it was real.
The final main reason why we send parts of ourselves into the shadows, is because they frighten us. They are the “evil” parts Jung speaks about. Because they aren’t accepted by the world and they aren’t accepted by who we desire to be or even how we seen ourselves, these components get pushed out of the lime-light and into the darkness.
What happens when our shadow isn’t integrated into our ego?
When we fail to acknowledge the shadow within us, or to a lesser extent choose not to shed light on our shadows, we end up not only as fragmented people but at risk for “flare-ups.”
The first reason we need to do Shadow Work, is all about learning to live in a healthy, loving, and happy state. When we can achieve this level of self-care, healing, and love we enter into a human experience where we thrive. Stretching past survival mode and into more.
In order to achieve this desired state, we must address our wounds and hurts. Many of them travel into our Shadow Self, because these components of our personality got there during a traumatic experience. A moment in our lives where we were told or experienced the message, that, ________ component of who we are was unlovable. A message that’s a lie, and for this reason it hurts all the more.
The second reason, is that pain happens to ourselves and to the world, when we fail to acknowledge that we even have a shadow. For Carl Jung, he knew this very well, because he lived the aftermath of one man who “had nothing wrong with him.” Adolf Hitler.
This man not only failed to see his own deficiencies, claiming to be the “father” of a new race, but he placed his shadow into other people. As Jung explains it, that when we fail to acknowledge the existence of our own shadow, it continues to live in our subconscious, hidden deep within the depths, and as a result, two things happen. We become blind to ourselves, and when our shadow slips back into the light, it gets shone onto other people.
Rather than seeing the demons within, people see them in others and hurt those people. In hurting others, we can see self-hate misdirected. Adolf Hitler was the cause of millions being tortured, imprisoned, murdered, and more. Each atrocity a sign of just how in pain this man was, just how much self-hate he had going on. Just how much about humanity and the human experience he ran and hid from.
Another common example used, is religious orders. The “sanctimonious” people failed to see their own animalistic characteristics, and when they would flare-up, they would persecute others. Those who embraced their sensuality, sexuality, and lived a more dynamic and emotion based life were mirror reflections of all that these sanctimonious people where hiding from. As a result, they became an outward symbol of all these people feared and hated, thus they unjustly received the hate and fear that these people actually felt about themselves.
Jungians (those who follow Carl Jung’s ideas), suggest it’s why nuns would harm their students, and priests would molest children. This “flare-up” or lashing out came, because they were angered at these characteristics and angered that a part of themselves they hid was shining in the light. It thus became impossible to pretend that those aspects of themselves didn’t exist. Lastly, an example has been made for those in the Middle East who murder others because of deemed “shameful” or “unholy” characteristics.
I am not saying all people who follow a religious order exhibit these qualities, but I use these examples because the shadow, flares-up or lashes out to such a large degree that it’s easy to see.
But it can happen on a smaller level. Jung suggested that each time we speak and words we didn’t plan come out, or when we exhibit a huge character change for a moment, these are components of our shadow, that has found a path to the light. Even if just for a moment.
The foundational components to Shadow Work:
The reason I haven’t talked about Shadow Work yet, is that while I believe it to be critical to a strong and deep healing journey, we need other components in place before we delve into our inner darkness. This way we can not only step into the darkness, but when we meet our inner beast we don’t run. We will be able to embrace those components and decide how to meld them with our ego (consciousness).
In this way, not only do we achieve a deeper level of healing and self-love, but we choose in what way we will honor that aspect of ourselves. Rather than flare-ups, we will be able to choose a healthier means of expressing who we are and how we feel.
The Foundational Components Are:
- Self-Love. I cannot express enough how important this is. Not only does our self-love aid us in having the strength to delve into our inner depths. But it also is what allows us to embrace what we find, rather than rejecting ourselves further.
- Tools. What you may find differs from person to person. Even on a gender level unfortunately. A man might meet a more emotional side, while a woman might uncover an inner lioness. All based on what society deems as “acceptable” for men vs women. For this reason, knowing healthy coping mechanisms and healing tools is important in determining how you handle what you find.
- Patience. The size of our shadows will differ, but they all are great like the ocean. This work cannot be done in one day, hence why it’s titled “work.” You need patience to honor that, rather than feeling frustration.
- Perseverance. You don’t know what you’ll find, and there might be moments where you have a hard time accepting the qualities found within you. You need perseverance to keep coming back.
- An open mind. While there are many resources about our shadows, what you find is unique to who you are and what has been hidden away. When you choose to approach the process of inner-delving, you can flow deep within the darkness. As opposed to butting-heads with how you think it, “should be” or “should go.” The reason it’s called a Shadow Self is that until delved into, you don’t know what it is. Be open to whatever may cross your path.
These are only the main foundational components, to have in order to start your Shadow Work. Any additional tools, wisdom, or traits you can learn and have, will only further aid you in your journey. That being said, I cannot express enough how essential the qualities/tools are above. Self-love. Self-love. Self-love.
How to start your Shadow Work:
Once you feel that you are in a good place, there are few different ways you can begin to start your Shadow Work. Since this is a journey and process, I would recommend starting when you feel good about the topics discussed above. Get a feel for the work, and then step back and re-evaluate. What preparation still needs to be done? If you wait until you’re “ready” you might never get there.
Here are some starting steps…
Pull out your journal.
In the beginning of my blog I talked about writing down your day, your emotions, and your thoughts. In whatever form worked for you. In this way, you could re-connect with yourself.
Now in pulling out your notes, you can analyze them and discover patterns. These patterns will shed light onto who you are and what shadow personality traits and desires are trying to see the light of day.
This can be done without a journal. It just means becoming more self-aware during the course of your day, to know how you act and what you say. Especially when foreign traits that you don’t consider yourself slip out.
Luna & Sol’s Shadow Work Journal:
I recently just completed Luna & Sol’s Shadow Work Journal. If you wish to have a bit more structure to your Shadow Work and wish to have an external source direct your work, then I highly recommend this journal.
You will find 64 exercises that all focus on different aspects of your shadow. In addition, through out this journal, some of the exercises are based on self-love activities. In this way you are sure to remember and include self-love within this work.
If this journal sounds like your cup of tea, click here to purchase ($15.99) your own copy and get started.
Take Personality Tests/Quizzes:
While rather basic, when answering these questions, focus on honesty and even choosing answers that draw your eye, but don’t make sense to you. You can gain insight into what lays just beneath the surface.
Try things/Explore those “guilty” pleasures:
While I abhor the phrase “guilty pleasures” because it automatically places guilt into your life, it is an accurate phrase for this step. When you deem something you love/desire/find interesting as “guilty” you are exhibiting a sliver of shadow. Why is it that you can’t just fully embrace this thing?
So, whether it’s something you do in secret or something you secretly wish to try/learn/see then consider if it’s safe for you and others. If it is, try it. Push your boundaries on who you are and let more of yourself in.
Keep working on your healing journey.
Through the course of continuing your self-development, healing, re-vamping your personal philosophy, and creating that thriving human experience, parts of your shadow will naturally flow into the light. When you create a more loving environment for yourself inside and out, those shadow personality components close to the surface, will feel at home and be welcomed into the light.
While these are only a few beginning steps, they will get you started on your journey. You can also uncover more steps on your own, or through the researching of Shadow & Shadow Work, or even Carl Jung.
Final Thoughts:
We are oceans. The time of day, setting, and mood all shine a light on our wide range of shimmering colors. We hold the potential for hurricanes and tidal waves. Just as much as we can nurture and support those around us. We are oceans deep and unknown even to ourselves. With hidden fierceness, color, and even light deep at the bottom.
Our state is not something to be afraid of. Instead, touch your inner child and become curious for all the wonder in store as you delve deep to the ocean’s floor.
Resources:
Here are a few external resources to get you guys started…
- About Carl Jung & his theories: https://www.carl-jung.net/theory.html
- I started work with my shadow, before I knew that was what I was doing. But when I started researching to do Shadow Work, I started with Luna & Sol, and their comprehensive, spiritual, guide (there’s also a free quiz about the size of your shadow): Click Here.
- This article offers 5 techniques by Carl Jung for Shadow Work and offers another perspective to understanding your shadow: https://www.learning-mind.com/shadow-work/
- This video is a wonderful introduction to our Shadows. My one note, is that while quoting Carl Jung, it takes his darker perspective on our shadows, than what I believe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-y2DddsWQ8&t=600s